missing

I miss the ocean

and I miss the mountains, too

I never thought after all this time

I’d be missing you like I do.

But I missed the smell of spring

and that came back as always,

and I know someday you’ll miss me, too,

and it puts me in a haze.

and I knew I’d be alright

It was warm

I felt whole

you smiled at me

and I knew

I’d be alright.

We’d get through winter

and all its cold nights

and we already got through February

and for some reason

it’s warm today

and we’re sitting outside

drinking pink lemonade

like it’s summer already

and you look at me

and you smile

and I smile, too

and we know

we’re exactly where we should be.

5 am

It’s 5 am

the rain is pouring

coming down heavy

enveloping my sadness

as I lay here

unable to sleep

and I wonder

I wonder what you’re doing

I know you were always

one to be up at this hour.

And I feel closer to you

than I ever did when we

were together.

Maybe it’s better this way

maybe I’m happier like this:

love,

but from a distance.

You can’t hurt me from here.

relax

The window open,

a newly cleaned room,

a cup of tea

cooling on the windowsill.

With nothing left to do today,

I relax and enjoy

the smell of nature,

the sunshine peeking in,

my cup of tea,

and a good book.

implications

And I don’t think I knew what love was

when I said I loved you

and I don’t think I meant it when I said it,

but I said it anyway

and you said it back

and at the time I didn’t know the implications

that we would matter

that we would be closer

that we would care about each other

and I never felt any of that

but I wanted to

I wanted to feel love

I wanted to know what it meant

to have someone you care about

but you can’t force that kind of love,

it comes on its own

and I want to believe it’s worth the wait