The night I realized everything was going to be okay

I remember the night that I realized I was going to be okay. There’s been a few nights like that, but this one was special. I was driving. It was at some point during the lowest part of my adult life. I remember I was driving; I was nineteen, and I didn’t know where to go, but I needed to be distracted. I remember I was about a half hour from home and I came across a beach I used to go to with my ex who lived in that town. Not the ex that had broken up with me a few weeks prior. An ex from what felt like a lifetime ago.

I remember a song was playing. I was in my old car. It was a convertible, but I had the hood up. I usually did and it made sense that I did because it was February on Cape Cod. It was cold. I had the heat blasting and I felt warm.

I remember the song that was playing. I remember the lyrics resonating with me. I remember sitting at the beach after sunset, and I nearly cried. I didn’t know what the world was going to throw at me, I didn’t know all the mistakes that were to come in the following year that could’ve been avoided if I just didn’t date my ex that came next.

I didn’t know what would happen and if I would be happy again soon, but I knew I would be someday. I remember snow started to fall. I didn’t even know it was supposed to snow. And I remember I made a playlist of all song that reminded me of my ex who broke my heart more than anyone ever had, and I remember thinking I’d never be the same. And it’s true. I’m not who I was then, I’m better.

And I knew at the time that I was in a bad place, I didn’t want to admit it, but I knew I was. But I also knew I’d come out of it as I had time and again. I didn’t know when, but I knew I would.

Album recommendations: Act 3- Norman Fucking Rockwell! / Lana Del Rey

I’ve been listening to this album pretty much nonstop since it came out. I hadn’t listened to LDR until this album came out just because I hadn’t gotten around to it, but I’m glad I checked out this album. It’s sad, but sometimes sad is comforting. I feel like I needed this album when it came out. If you like sad songs about shitty guys breaking your heart- definitely check it out.

Album Recommendations: Act 1 – Morbid Stuff / PUP

Just before writing Shan’s story, I listened to Morbid Stuff, an album by PUP on my record player. I listened to it all the way through and it struck a chord deep inside me. I related to it on a personal level to the point I knew I had to write something about it. When the album ended, I turned the record over and listened again, typing urgently. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a nihilist, but I have my moments. And this album brought those moments out.

I recommend listening in full, but my favorite track off it is the second track Kids.

Song/Album/Artist Recommendations: Act 0 – introduction

I want to try this out. If you know anything about me, you know how much music means to me. It got me through high school, it’s getting me through college, multiple heartbreaks- basically anything could be fixed by the right album. At least for me. So, I figured, this is my website, I should let you guys get to know me ~through music~

I won’t always do a big, long post about how meaningful the recommended song/album/artist is, but I will when it’s needed!

Today is just introductions, though, the next post will be about a specific band. For now, I’ll leave you with a link to my playlist I made of songs that hold special places in my heart- some of which will probably be featured in the future.

This isn’t me becoming a music review blog, it’s just an occasional addition to my currently lacking website. It will mostly be songs that were inspired by writings I’ve posted!

Here’s that playlist I mentioned: