I felt a wide variety of things that night,
drove home with a smile on my face but
a sinking feeling in my stomach that told
me to run. This was nothing but bad news
and I knew it. And I was sick of how many
times this had happened. And I was sick
of always letting it happen. But on I went
to make another bad decision. And the only
conclusion I can come to with all this is I
like being upset. Is that why I stay? Is that
why I can’t seem to let you go? Because I
like being sad? Or is it because I’m hoping
you’ll change? Or I’m hoping I’ll change you.
Or I’m hoping someday we end up working
and we can laugh and roll our eyes at all the
pain we put each other through. But I don’t
want that. I don’t want you. I just want pain.
So I guess I want you.
Lauren Hayden 