at home in the mountains

It rained on the day we went up to the mountains. It rained and we stayed in our car for the most part, eating takeout from a nearby restaurant. We planned to eat it by the waterfall, but our sandwiches would’ve been soggy. We sat parked on a cliff-side, overlooking the mountains, the greens and reds and oranges and yellows of the treetops swaying gently with the breeze. We sat silent for a while as we took in the overwhelming feeling, the largeness of it all. We ate our takeout, but we didn’t feel worthy to be there in all the beauty. This moment was bigger than us. And I remember you said quietly and defiantly, “Someday, this will be home.”

and I knew I’d be alright

It was warm

I felt whole

you smiled at me

and I knew

I’d be alright.

We’d get through winter

and all its cold nights

and we already got through February

and for some reason

it’s warm today

and we’re sitting outside

drinking pink lemonade

like it’s summer already

and you look at me

and you smile

and I smile, too

and we know

we’re exactly where we should be.

5 am

It’s 5 am

the rain is pouring

coming down heavy

enveloping my sadness

as I lay here

unable to sleep

and I wonder

I wonder what you’re doing

I know you were always

one to be up at this hour.

And I feel closer to you

than I ever did when we

were together.

Maybe it’s better this way

maybe I’m happier like this:

love,

but from a distance.

You can’t hurt me from here.

Last week of my class and liking my new job (+ song recommendation)

It’s my last week of this class starting today! Week 8 of 8. I’m not sure how I’ll do in this class since most of the work to be graded is last week and this week and my teacher hasn’t graded last week’s work yet, but I’m probably going to pass.

I’m liking my new job so far. It’s pretty easy and I get to listen to whatever I want while I work since I’m mostly alone. I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts. They calm me down when I get stressed out, which is nice. It’s something I never had working retail, they always either had no music playing or some generic radio playing and it was always some song I’ve heard a million times and never liked. And it’s nice going to these nice houses for a couple hours and just zoning out. Cleaning has always helped my anxiety, so it makes sense I’d like it.

After work, I’ll be going over a friend’s house and we’ll be watching a show he got me into while we have a couple beers. It’ll be nice. Hopefully work won’t tire me out too much.

Last Thursday, I went to a concert with my best friend and this song I’m recommending today is one that they (my favorite band) played that I nearly cried at the show. It’s called You in January by The Wonder Years:

a few updates on school and a new job

My class is almost over! I’m on week seven out of eight and all I’ve got left is a discussion post and a seven-slide PowerPoint to do. I apologize for not being as active on here the last few weeks, but school mixed with my new job has made me more busy than I’d like to be.

My new job?? I’m a housekeeper! I clean vacation homes. I cannot express how glad I am to be out of the retail business. I didn’t hate all my retail jobs- the movie theaters were pretty cool- but the chain convenience stores and drug stores really wore me down.

Once summer comes around, I’m really going to have to make sure I make time to write because I’ll be working six days a week most weeks. I’m not always up to write after a long day of work, or my writing isn’t as coherent as days where I’m not doing a bunch of physical activity, but I’ll try to make some time. I might cut back my posts to only a few days a week, but that’s a conversation to come back to in May.

I like the new job so far, though! It’s different from any other job I’ve had, but I get to listen to whatever music or podcast I want, so it’s cool. And I like being active at work; when I was working at a movie theater, half the shift was spent sitting and waiting for the movies to get out. It got boring. At least at this job there’s always something to do.

And one last thing- I’m not sure if it was just me or anyone else, but the post I made yesterday never showed up on my feed, so if you missed that, you can check it out here!

If you made it this far, how about a song recommendation? (I want to start doing these on my general blog posts, what do you guys think?)

relax

The window open,

a newly cleaned room,

a cup of tea

cooling on the windowsill.

With nothing left to do today,

I relax and enjoy

the smell of nature,

the sunshine peeking in,

my cup of tea,

and a good book.